Tagline: Whichever path you’ll take depends on you.

I honestly couldn’t care less about doing homework at this moment, because it’s not around that hour yet… Yeah, I still have ten minutes to type this blog out. Anyways, there’s something that has been going through my head for years, and obviously, only a few have helped me – which is funny: they are all adults who have gone through the same. <_< Bravo to you freakin' kids who tried to help me.

So I’m a Senior, and yay, I’m graduating. But it’s really stressful being the first in the family to actually go to college (honestly, my dad went to a community college and didn’t really needed to go through the application process. <_<)… or university as you internationals say it. My parents first of all DO NOT KNOW what it is like to have all this weighed onto you. My parents want me to buy my caps and gown BUT they said that they really are not going to be at my graduation. They've been nagging me about college applications (UNLIKE ALL YOU FREAKIN' IB FREAKS WHO ONLY APPLY TO 5, I'M FORCED TO APPLY TO 10) and expect that all applications are for free. So I try my best to apply to 5 colleges that do not require any application fees and then ask for a application fee waiver from the Guidance office. I don't know how many times the man has seen me in his office, but I always need scholarships and fee waivers, because my parents are too damn stupid to know what it’s like to have this drilled into my head. I’m really sick of it.

Continuing with college, it’s so stupid how they’re making me apply to 10, BUT when Yale contacted me to come to their house for Winter Break, my parents told them I will not go to their school. I was seriously bawling my eyes out. It’s freakin’ YALE. I applied and got accepted. I was really excited and danced around, but my freakin’ parents told them I don’t accept. WHY WHY WHY WHY! They wanted to kick me out of the house so many times, but now they’re finally stepping in and say they want me to go to a college that is REALLY nearby home. Mom’s reason: I won’t have anyone to cook or do the laundry for me. <_< WTF have I been doing for a whole year when she left? My dad always came home late, making me cook my own dinner. I had to work to actually support the house. I freakin' did the laundry. My dad made me fill out the checks and used my money to pay some of the bills. I was the one that cleaned the house as well. Does she not realise that I can actually live on my own for once? HECK, I had to take care of my siblings when I was 9 while they were at work. EIGHT FREAKIN' YEARS.

The next reason is that I won’t be able to support it… Yeah, ’cause they honestly didn’t care when I came home and told them I won 3rd place in an essay contest with a $5,000 scholarship… as well as a few weeks ago when Yale offered me a full tuition there if I keep up with my academics and service – $146,000 off my butt for four years. I also havtah’ mention that there is indeed a few more scholarships on its way (the church is actually willing to give some thousands of dollars in scholarship to me and I’m the only one so far at my school applying for a scholarship) I’m still applying to a lot of scholarships, but my parents refuse to listen.

So what’s the solution? So I told people about this, and obviously, the church choir was amazed and threw me a dinner party. 0=) Brendon was really proud and told me to take the chance and just go for it. Dr. McDonnell, who went there for his graduate and taught there for a few years, told me I won’t regret it. He was one of my recommendations. Bwhahahaha! Others told me to not lose the chance to go there and it’s the only chance I’ll get. Also, unlike many of the kids who told me to just sit down and do things for my parents all the time, some wise lady who has been treating me like her grand daughter told me to just sit down and listen but at the last minute accept and go. What an ingenious idea. I never thought about that.

Another thing I was pondering about is what I should major. Honestly, I love Philosophy and Music. I could care less about what I want to go into (but my parents strictly told me to be a lawyer)… so just to make them happy, I told them I’ll major in Philosophy (never told them about Music) and go to law school. <__> Ignorant fools. Again, Dr. McDonnell still had no problem when he told me that I can come back and pursue to be his assistant. So why not? Also, I’m pretty sure starting out as an underground artist is good. This is why you have connections first of all. Worldwide fame isn’t everything.

So in conclusion, I really found out that I should take advice from people who have already experienced it before rather than those who just think “Oh… what if.” I’m not just going to sit here and ask “what if” if I have yet experienced it! <_< So I rather know what I'm getting myself into by asking people who I know have been there and done that.

Tagline: I smell a war song…

Anyone noticing that Trung Tam Asia has been changing themes that are generally not about war lately? Yeah… some girl freakin’ wrote a 3pg (double-spaced) essay to them over a PM about something… I dunno who it was, but I’m sure they also heard many other complaints from other people.

Asia 61: Four Seasons
Asia 62: 30th Anniversary
Asia 63: Wedding Songs
Asia 64: Holiday Celebrations

Didn’t Anh Hai mentioned that he wanted to see a Holiday one? I think they answered his request.

However, I doubt any of this will actually have no war songs involved, being the sneaky ones they are. Honestly, yesh, the war is over, yesh there are many songs about the war, but please – don’t go emo on us now!

The only request I want from the Holiday Celebrations one is that AM do BoA’s “Scream”, ’cause that’ll be something really wicked there. >D

Tagline: Oh the memories

I really dunno if I should celebrate or bang my head on the desk. I hate going back to school now. XD Seniorities! Yeah!

So apparently, we all know my situation with IB and that my life should rot, ladadida… but onto the point…

I probably about like 35 CAS hours (it’s like community service…), which is HALF of what I’m required to have by August 29th… so, how the freak do I get 35 hours before then? I dunno, probably start the freakin’ school dance team with bro and probably start the IB and TAG website for school. The dance team for the first week would probably be just like getting to know people as they are signing up and making posters (CREATIVITY = 1 HR! XD). The website, hopefully, will boost me up to 15 hours. Designing and coding a layout usually takes me 3-5 hours (sometimes even expanding to 12 hours), and then havtah’ make the pages for them, install a crapload of things, etc. Or probably just start a web design service. I really need a freakin’ sponsor though if I start a web design service… I just need someone who is 22 years old or older to just be there. Anyone care to be my sponsor? And please don’t be a horrible sponsor and bash on about me. T_T I really need this for the diploma…

Another thing I’m going to be in trouble is… BWHAHAHA my stupid research for this Extended Essay that is like… about 12-15 pages long for me. It’s History… oh, and guess what my topic is… yep yep, “To what extent was the Protestant Reformation Beneficial to the Catholic Church’s Doctrine”. I think I can bug Father Cooney about this. I also need a trip to the library. So I guess starting the second week of school, I can stay after and check out books. Hoorah, hoorah. I just need to do hardcore researching. XD ‘Cause seriously, this may sound really easy to you kids, but it isn’t to me… ’cause doctrine, is gonna be fun to talk about on the essay. <_<

But yeah, that's probably what I have to get prepared for school. Once those two things are over, I'm going to be celebrating… Even if I havtah' prepare for my IA's and EA's. BTW, I'm still wondering what we're supposed to do for music 'cause I still think the teacher is a butthole for not telling us anything. I seriously had to have IB graduates, who did have proof of their 6s and 7s, to help me with my freakin' investigative question project… I'm also going to change the layout for that. It looks crappy…

And yay, how am I enjoying the assigned books? Hate them.

Tagline: Just to let you know…

Warning: Foul Language

Since I don’t feel like calling this person and bitch at them, I’ll probably just rant it all here on this blog. And we know my blogs are only for rants, hates, blah blah, right? Not really, I have some good memories in here.

Okay, so you finally find out that having abscess is a pain in the ass, right? Congratulations. Now you don’t need to bitch at me when I say I’m in major pain. So quit complaining about the pain, I’m tired of you doubting me.

You don’t laugh when I record with my cousins and perform with them. However, you laugh like it’s the end of the world when you hear me recording on my own? How the freak are you supportive here? I know I’m not the best singer neither think I’ll be a singer, but please don’t laugh your ass off when you hear any of my covers/songs.

Kevin dances and he sucks. He hasn’t even performed with us for a single Christmas show ’cause he always messes up or keeps wanting to do a dance solo and ends up falling. However, when you see me dance, you laugh your ass off more than you laugh at my singing. What’s your problem? Seriously, I can honestly keep beat when dancing as well as structure a smooth transition unlike my brother. I’m the co-choreographer for the Christmas show!!! Why the heck didn’t you laugh back then? Why? Why? Are you a freakin’ pussy now and think that people will look down upon you if you did?

Oh yeah, BTW, thanks for stealing $150 from me. I really appreciate it. Promising me to give my money back WITH WHAT?!?! You’re lucky I haven’t snapped at you yet. I only did little arguments, but haven’t snapped hell. I can’t say I hate you, ’cause then that’ll be a lie. Honestly, let’s say I can’t stand your freakin’ two-face bitchiness. One side you’re all “Oh, I like this person.” and then turn around and say “You freakin asshole!” Honestly, get a freakin’ life if you can’t find something to do.

No wonder why you don’t have friends, ugh.

Tagline: You’re another year older, another year wiser… NOT

Okie… so… on July 2nd, I turned 17 and got a lot of birthday wishes. Thanks everyone! I wub you guys!

I got to relax and everything and also, the night before, relaunched Memoria Aeterna, which got positive feedback… so far. I think all the ones who hate it were just keeping comments to themselves. But I could care less.

On July 4th, my cousins came over to celebrate the birthday party as well as destroy the front and back yards of my house with explosives. They even went on top of my dad’s cousin’s RV and started shooting fireworks… How amazing… O_O

The amazing presents were awesome, less, but thoughtful. 1) 4AM, this guy called me and caught me on AIM… so he wanted me to sleep and lectured to me how sleep is good for me. XD Then he just freestyled a birthday rap… which was cheesy, but cute. Later on, 4PM, he calls and gives me a call and does a better birthday rap… saying that he was tired at 1AM (where he was at) when he called me earlier. 2) Brian/Anh Hai gave me a little poem/rhyme over at TrishT since I wrote him one on his birthday. Cute and hilarious. =3 But thoughtful. 3) Ami graffiti-ed a poster, took a picture of it, and sent it to me. 4) Aunts and uncles gave me cash – ka-ching! 5) A cousin, Linh, gave me a gift card… yay! 6) And the rest of the other cousins chipped their money in to get me a new web cam (since my sister broke mine <.<) and a Best Buy gift card. I appreciated the fact that they spent hours… at the last minute to get me it. 7) My parents felt bad that my 16th birthday was a disaster and the fact that I had to share it with a cousin over in Vietnam where I knew no one, so they got me a big cake that said “Sweet 17″ (looked really cheap). That’s all they can do… and threw a great BBQ. XD

And now… as the days count down to my classes at Ave Maria, I am cramming on my textbooks. ;-;

Tagline: ‘Cause this is thriller…

Before I start what I have to say about MJ, I’m going to say that Transformers II is amazing and everyone should watch it unless you don’t like action/comedy/romance combined into one.

Anyways, I believe many people around the whole globe, solar system, galaxy, universe, etc. would know that Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, has died. Yes, I lamented over his death and was saddened that this man was going to pull a concert starting probably in a few weeks… However, I’m not going to touch on him much since I’m going to probably blame the majority of those people around the world.

Complain all you want, but seriously, a few years ago, he was accused of child molestation. From then, many people have made fun of him. I, myself (admitting this as well), was one of them and forgot everything about this talented man. However, when I came to high school, I realised that I needed to grow up when I was listening to songs on a friend’s iPod. He was embarrassed that I saw MJ’s songs, but as I was listening to them, I told him that it’s good that he’s listening to them since it made me realised how big of a jerk we people are to him. I respect MJ as a musician and for the charitable things he’s done. Aside from the child molestation thingy, the poor dude had to take drugs to get over with them when so many people started to sue him… I doubt he would molest that many kids.

Okie, back on track – these people who are now remembering and honouring him were the ones that also ridiculed him badly until he died. Now they’re turning around and saying, “Yeah, he was the best… he was awesome. Never thought he was a bad guy… etc.” Now they forget the whole thing about him and the number of things against him. Dude, the man was under stress for whoknowshowlong and probably would wanted people to get off his personal case? What was he well-known and respected for? The fact that music (the good ones and not – hey, I got the chicks and the blings) would not be like this. Even Timberlake admitted that without MJ, he wouldn’t be like this today. Give him props for this.

Gosh, I hate it when so many people are hypocritical when the person passes away.

Tagline: Only13 my butt

What’s today’s rant, children? I dunno… maybe the fact that when you happen to be a SJ fanatic (not like those crazy ELFs and Soompi stalkers) and waiting for all 13 to be on stage, who happens to ruin the amazing number? Kibum

Don’t get me wrong. I love this guy more than Yesung (even if Yesung has a way better voice, I just can’t stand that Yesung’s such a cam-whore and I honestly don’t really believe in some of things he says in front of the camera since he really does want to have some moments to himself). However, when I heard that all 13 will be participating in the tour, I was really excited. The fact that no SJ members will be left behind and stuff even if Kibum didn’t really sing in any of the songs – seriously, you can’t hear him – I think he’s a decent singer, but not that amazing… But what happens is that he broke his leg… weeks before the tour, which pisses me off more than ever.

I don’t care what “true” SJ fans think, I honestly think it’s very suspicious that a member who hasn’t even been on a single stage with his hyungs (and maknae) for the whole 3rd album promotion breaks his legs. Don’t get me wrong – again, I don’t want replacements neither anyone leaving the group or additions – but how the flip does this happen?

What’s stupid is that Junsu was there for his fans and the members when they had their amazing performances – why can’t Kibum do that? I could care less what you fans think, but when you become a celebrity, you’re there to entertain fans and not prance around the way you want. Even when Heechul got some leg problems, he participated in the promotion – WTF Kibum?!?!

Okay, I’m done with my venting. Some people told me that I should be happy that there’s nothing wrong with Kyuhyun… Honestly, I am happy – really happy that he’s getting a lot of attention. But honestly, I’m just mad at the fact that 12 – not 13 members are going to be on stage. Hence, the whole controversy of bringing Henry to the group and kick Kibum out. Honestly, Henry’s a talented kid and suitable, but without Kibum, where would the fun be on those amazing shows? XP

So after all the venting – I’m just gonna tell Kibum to get better and hope to see him on stage for the rest of the tour. Even if they’re not gonna come to the US. ;-; It’ll be nice to see some KPop groups do some tour around the states… wouldn’t it?

… Yes, I needed a new WP theme… o_o;; It’s was getting dark. XP

Tagline: The time has come to say good-byes…

Today was the last official choir rehearsal (Wednesday), and honestly, I was really sad. It was the last day that George actually gave me a ride… until tomorrow (which is Thursday) where he will again gimme a ride. On the way to church, George told me that we would be meeting our new choir conductor (and my voc. teacher). This made me a bit more sad since I mean – it’s hard to let go of someone who you consider as a friend, practically a big brother who has taught you so much about things and helped you through so many problems, huh? But then… as Saint Bernadette said, “Let go of the past and have confidence in the future.”

Fran and I were talking about things like how her day went and stuff – which was a total BS day for her. I’m just glad that she’s going to be resigning soon. Good riddance! She also told me how George woke her up late at night yesterday about the choir party, which just made me laugh. Poor Fran. And now George told Fran that she’ll be happy about this new conductor’s age and marital status. Again, I had to laugh since Fran has been trying to find someone. Haha, sucks that George had to go.

When the new conductor came in, George introduced him to us. The guy happens to be a graduate from Ave Maria (typical, isn’t it?) with a Bachelors in Sacred Music (yay). I think his name is Brendon… Forgot. Haha, but yeah, will learn it tomorrow. So we went around introducing ourselves, and of course, George, the big meanie (but still loved), started with me. Of course I had to introduce myself as the secretary ’cause I usually run around doing the job for him. It was surprising how much George “knows” about us. Only two facts, and that’s all. Me? I’m just a student at Riverdale. Yay, how amazing is that? He could’ve said that I’m planning to major in music at AMU too!

So, starting out horribly, George borrowed my Adoremus hymnal for our prayer, and again, my glasses were failing me while I was trying to sit next to him and sing. @.@;; I couldn’t read crap – bad glasses! Waitah go for first impression. ;-; We practiced this Renaissance piece (really beautiful) which is difficult for me since I’m the only soprano – WTF MAN!?!?! It was difficult for me to get the notes since I had to learn everything by myself, and thank goodness George is an awesome vocal teacher ’cause he guided me along the way. ;-; I guess Brendon was really… hmm… tired and a bit annoyed tonight, felt really bad for him. Mr. Cliff of course got the notes down like BAM! C’mon, he played the organ for a very long time and also sang in other choirs. Rawr! So I was the person that George had to deal with the most since I had the most mistakes and was really silent on the parts I know I couldn’t get. Gosh, how patient is he… I really do hope Brendon does too. ;-;

So we ended the night around 9:30 (I don’t mind – I don’t have school anymore for the year, so whatever). This time, I was smart and grabbed a hymnal from the pews when we did our prayer.

But yeah… I’m definitely going to miss this last rehearsal even if everyone wasn’t there… we had fun being silent when we didn’t know the parts and having George played it over and over… gosh, I had short term memory lost here. But yeah, I promised George I’ll have it down tomorrow…. so I’m now going to head off and practice for 15 minutes on this piece….

Tagline: Sit back, relax, think ’bout the past…

So since I’ve been using this laggy compooter for the past few weeks while my mom has been literally stealing my laptop and crashing it with her Vietnamese dramas that she watches on the internet, I’ve been browsing through files trying to clear space up as well as listening to old music. I can’t believe half of the songs that I have I’ve yet listened to… Currently, I’m listening to W-inds’ “Seventh Ave” – yeah, that’s like last year, but still! Haven’t listened to this album yet. But yeah, I was on my Hikki spazz an hour ago. I also went through files where I saw some old essays and stories I’ve written in the past – oh, the memories. They were fun to laugh about and stuff. One of my favourites has to be my French Revolution project that I did for World History. I used tons of sarcasms on it, and it’s still one of my favourite works – creativity-wise. I don’t know if the research itself was nice. I went in deeper and found really old layouts – CRAPPY ONES – that I still have. It’s hilarious to look at how much I’ve improved. Yesh! I even have songs that I wrote back in the days on this ancient baby. Haha, and I havtah’ admit – dang, I need to re-record them. Probably post it.

Anyways, another great news, I guess – my English cover of Super Junior’s “It’s You” has been #2 on the cover charts for the past couple of days. Hope it stays on the top 20 for the rest of the week. ‘Cause this is the most accomplished song I’ve did. Please stop by and listen to it. You can tell me if you hated it as well. No judgment will be used against you. I’m too lovable for that. Hehe.

Tagline: I was in China… before mom came home.

I’m sure many people have experienced flippin’ weird dreams that you’re wondering, “WTF is going on here?” but let it play before you wake up. You believe it’s reality but you know you’re sleeping. I think I need to take Psychology badly now. I really wanna know what’s going on in our brains because of this. Too lazy to google it. Haha.

Anyways, today, after doing half of my biology lab report, I decided to take a “small” nap.

So why was this dream the most awkward that I’ve ever experienced? Usually, I don’t have school mates running around randomly. I usually have an actual story if there are room mates. But dude(tte), this was the dream combined with like 500 different scenes (hyperbole, but whatever) with some kind of weird plot – wait, did it have a plot? XD

It started with a bunch of IB kids (usually the ones that I hang out with at lunch) and I were taking classes at Ave Maria University (HOW EFFIN’ IRONIC!). And get this – we were in San Fransisco. o_o Dude, isn’t that near Stanford? XD So anyways, here we are on a different campus, lalala… and I guess we were taking some kind of IB test ’cause I saw Cavanaugh, and we IB students were like, “Oohs and Ahhs” of wanting to get out – I guess it was prom day since I kept hearing “Prom, prom!” in this dream. Apparently, I guess it was a Biology one since my Biology teacher was there. o_O And after the test, a couple of students and I needed a ride to get our dresses and go to prom. Unfortunately, I don’t know WTF was going on, but the city had this electricity-wire-problem that got in contact with the Golden Gate Bridge which is now burning down… and we were crossing this bridge that was near the Golden Gate. And my Bio teacher’s just “Lalala… be patient. I want to be able to cross this bridge carefully and slowly.” So it took eons while we’re watching the Golden Bridge going down by pieces as cars were hurrying to get off the bridge. o.O;; Somehow, we got out of the car, and I rushed to the last car that was out of the bridge and ran off the cliff of the burning Golden Gate Bridge. o_o;; A rope appeared out of nowhere and I was doing Tarzan style, yo. XD There was this weird-looking wooden bridge that I landed my butt on that was like a slide but it was loose, so I could have fallen out of it. Of course, God spared me in this dream and didn’t let me die to see that I was now sliding down the Wall of China. o_o;; And dude, you think this gets weird – I’m flippin’ in a place where people are in the elaborate ancient clothes. And I guess I was facing the emperor with my modern-day western clothing, holding a scroll – WTF did that came from? And I showed it to him – ahh… my passport and some kind of invitation to something. Oh yeah, did I mention that there was a sign that said, “Welcome to Communist China”? ROFL, that was so random, and it was in Chinese, but I understood it perfectly ’cause now I was talking in Cantonese with the emperor. Like flippin’ fluent and knew exactly what I was talking about. This is like SIMs. They know what the freak they’re talking about, but you’re like, “What?” After talking to the emperor, he said, “Welcome – “

Mom woke me up.