Later on, she told me that she was trying to make money to see her boyfriend in Texas. That just really upset me. One thing, she practically lied to her mother about how broke she is and went up to me asking me if I wanted to sell a book. I expected my money back, but I don’t see it – what the fuck? That book is $20, and I didn’t appreciate how you just took that from me.

I know, tomorrow I’m going to take that book back and tell her that I just got the e-mail from my professor that the book is required. But seriously, I don’t like being used like that. If you wanted some money, just ask around stating your reason. Not sneakily do it.

I can’t post this on Tumblr or Twitter cuz she follows me on there. It’s fuckin’ ridiculous that I had to log onto WordPress just to rant like this. I thought I was done with this. Apparently not.

I was bored at Drama Club today and decided to text a bunch of people. One guy noticed that I was going back and forth with my iPod and phone. I was literally bored and felt useless…. so I tried making a use to the Club by being the curtain puller – something that I’ve been doing for shows throughout this school year. But I guess I got wrapped up in thinking about this KDrama called “You’re Beautiful” (recommended to people). Diane gave the reference about the pig nose… and honestly, I burst out laughing causing a “friend” to notice. I think he’s been observing me…. ’cause later while I was spacing about the KDrama (I’m indeed HOOKED – so it’s by far, my favourite), he texted me and asked me what I was thinking about.

Me: Oh…ATM? Something……..
Him: ATM something???
Me: At the moment… Yes…. Something. Haha. XD
Him: Such as…????
Me: Silly Thoughts.
Him: Like what? lol
Me: It’s really silly and something I don’t want to talk about.

So why these silly thoughts? Well, I was debating to myself about random guys (oh yes, including singers, but I observe) and categorizing them into three categories… Wanna guess? TaeKyung, ShinWoo, and (sorry it’s not Jeremy) others. Others… is those who I just really think are the douchebags of the Earth. And so I’m still doing it, but I’ve been giving them codenames that I only know. Here’s what I have so far:

TaeKyung
Pat-It
RED
Kyu
Ugly
George
Sun
Tablo

ShinWoo
S. Squared
AB
Teukie
Handsome
Dolphin
Yunho
Cooks
Jay
Avie
Eric

Others
PhiliKyu
JRN
Big Al
Vampire Sprinkles
Shrader
Grant

That’s what I have so far. And that’s what I was trying to do during Drama Club… I didn’t wanted to tell my “friend” about this, because yes, if someone actually saw me doing this IRL, they would think I’m silly and weird. I know you guys will laugh and think I’m delusional, but it’s okay – I really don’t like revealing 100% of me to anyone. I remember when someone on the “Others” list told me that I’m a very mysterious person and would like to get to know me more. Under “ShinWoo” is who I will confess feelings to, but under “TaeKyung” is who I will act comfortable and would do my Pig Nose at them if I was to talk to them. Truth be told, someone told me under “TaeKyung” that I looked like a Pig… and my mother calls me a rabbit. Heh, I laugh about this. There’s more about these guys, and they all have the same thing in common with the two guys I put and “Others”.

So where did I put this “friend” under? “ShinWoo”… If I told him this right now, he would probably feel down – I’m not that stupid. I may act dumb, but I do know when a guy has developed his feelings for me. I’m not oblivious like Mi Nyung. However, I will keep denying it sometimes, because I don’t want to feel hurt. I wasn’t kidding when I said I rejected many guys in the past. They all belong under “Others”… and probably “ShinWoo”…. but let’s just say, that most of them were under “Others”.

If I had to pick my favourites from each category (excluding celebrities), I would pick RED and Pat-It under “TaeKyung”, S. Squared and Jay under “ShinWoo”, and sadly… no one under “Others”… I posted some stories about RED. I’m pretty sure you guys can figure who this is out… He doesn’t read these blogs anymore. Hehe… but I did like RED the best…

I’m glad there’s a blog where I can just pour my feelings to. It’s because I know there are certain people who don’t read this and I can just vent it away. But sadly, I have to admit – I don’t also reveal 100% of myself to this blog. And it’s because there are people I know who are reading this so I take things out.

So I’ll just keep these silly thoughts in my head and smile to myself at random times. I really want to meet a “TaeKyung” and hopefully a “ShinWoo” in the future. It was fun, and my heart was in place. I miss it…

I have another blog coming up. But I think this is something I must get off my chest right now.

So apparently, on Easter weekend, a friend of mine (Krystalynn) was feeling bad… break-ups, I tell you. But hey, gotta move on. So to make her happy, I decided to get her a card, draw a quick comic, and create my own little rendition of B.O.B.’s “Nothing on You” (which sucked horrible by the way…). But yeah, I dropped by her house to drop off the card and hang out. And so we did… we went to pick up Cassie.

So as we were on our way to Cassie’s, we would always pass by Krystalynn’s ex’s (the asshole that just broke up with her) community. Little Iris (my god daughter and Krystalynn’s biological daughter) kept saying “Alex” (ex’s name), which made her feel bad since she started to cry over and over… Honestly, that really sucks that the girl started to like the guy too. Since Alex ignores Krys’s phone calls, I had to be the brave soul and call him. I told him that there was a baby in the car crying when I passed by his little community… His response “OK… whatever.” So Krys and I thought “What an asshole.” One thing, he actually said that he really loved Iris. Honestly, who the freak would say that and now says “Whatever” to a baby? I told Iris this, and she cried.

Apparently, it turned out that he thought it was my sister – she’s a baby? Are you serious? She doesn’t even know where the heck he lives! So Cassie, Krys, and I apparently did gossip, but honestly… I didn’t expect to know that much out of him. But GOODNESS SAKE, I prefer the nice kid that I met back in middle school than this asshole who thinks he can party his ass off like no other person can. Lemme tell you one thing: just because you go to parties, do stuff (not mentioning anything here), and have “cool” party friends, does not make YOU cool. GET IT RIGHT! Oh, and you brag about losing your virginity, well lemme tell you something else: you’re not a girl. Virginity is only used for women, not men. You can’t pop the freakin’ cherry in the guy unless he has a vagina – ARE YOU SAYING YOU HAVE A VAGINA? Don’t make me laugh.

Oh wait, you just did.

Krystalynn told me he updated his status a few minutes after I called him, great. It said “That was weird”, so I asked what was, and he said it was my phone call… calling me a weirdo. Honestly, I don’t know if that’s his way to be humorous, but I didn’t take a joke at it. So I asked him “how is that weird”, and he just responded “weirdo”. Honestly, if you’re going to be that immature, then please do not plan to see me in person. ‘Cause I will seriously kick you straight to somewhere if I do see you.

“Oh, so now you’re acting all high and mighty, when was this?”

You know darn straight that I’ve been like this since who knows when. And I don’t try to act high and mighty, but if you happen to mess with something part of my life, I will make sure your life is hell and equal to it… maybe worse.

But yes, that’s my bitching for now. I’m done. Good night. Adieu, adieu.

P.S. Girls, if you’re searching for the right guy, please for the love of everyone and your own life, do not lose your virginity unless you are absolutely CERTAIN the person loves you and will be with you forever. If they keep acting like they are so in love with you and break up with you the next day, learn that mistake and move on. I’m tired of seeing girls crying over this when outside the box, people can see that it won’t be working out at all.

P.P.S. This message is to Alex: I never liked it when guys call their girlfriends “babe”, “sugar”, etc. It’s only cute in songs, and you sir, are just another sad guy who is lost. Sucks to be you, you corrupted asshole.

It’s kinduh pointless to blog this when that person MIGHT not even read your blog, but hey, venting time! So here it goes:

I honestly hope you didn’t hear what she told you about my dream, ’cause that is too embarassing. For one: I never thought about circuses and didn’t even dreamt about it. However you were in the dream and she wasn’t…

Oh no, you really dunno what’s really going on. Haha. But yes, we caught each other at a carnival that DID have a circus. XD And still in this dream, it’s like how we usually talk… With hi’s. That’s just it. But here’s the catch: once you started leaving in your car, you stood up and hugged me. Sign, sign? Hope not!

But yes, eventually the dream progresses and I’m at the mall and there was this new game store with wrestlers promoting it… WTF? Haha! But continuing on, we caught each other in the store. His time you hugged me and had your guy friend with you to check out the new game store. You then went somewhere leaving me with your friend who told me that you had some interest in me… “What?” I began to wonder: “why all of a sudden?”

But you know how random dreams are… I guess it was later in the month that you (in the dream) started to have me hang out with you more, drawing me closer to you… And started making me fall for you… I knew it was a dream, so I had to wake up.

Honestly, I never thought more of you except that you were an interesting person who I met in Youth Group and gotten to know more on Facebook. I told her that I dreamt that you two were performing at a circus just so I could shut my mouth. But really, it’ll be nice to get to know you more. And I do hope we remain as friends…

D: But I can’t help it! Does this mean I’m conceited? Oh wells, I don’t care. Here’s the first survey introduced by Ai Van:

http://drawahouse.com/houses/

And my result:

You are sensitive and indecisive at times. You are good at making friends and when the joyful moment arrives, you make the most out of it. You love your house and family. You are a gifted artist as well. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. Your life is always full of changes. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. son.

You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You see the world as it is, not as you believe it should be.

You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don’t see you as a flirt. You don’t think much about yourself.

I found that really interesting, ya’ know? Yes, I know… it’s funny how we take surveys and nod as we get excited reading things that we try to fit… but this nailed it. But I believe the person who typed this out needs proofreading, but heck, I barely proofread my things as well…

W

Since so many people ask me how I know so much about it, lemme tell you one thing: I’m related to DJ Babyboi (he’s like my fourth cousin) who has met TONS of artists. He’s the initial reason why I got into knowing about music business. Then some of my cousins living in Miami had a gig to host the annual Christmas show for the Vietnamese community for a few years (which I joined in when I was 12), so we definitely had to do a lot of business with artists and labels – it was freakin’ crazy since this does take three months to do. I got to meet some Viet artists who were the guest for the night, but I didn’t get to talk to them much (that’s business – you get in, you get out). My cousins also had their own room to make a mini-studio out of it (which later was relocated to their new house in their second garage). Here we spend a couple of days nonstop (well, only for potty breaks) making beats/instrumental and recording, and then work on the choreography until the night of the performance. It’s a whole week of hell, but we got it down and had fun – with many mistakes which we watch over on their DVDs. I only get to do this for 3 years and stopped due to school and the fact that a few of them were graduating. Sigh, sigh.

When I was 13, I went to a concert on December 2nd (Cardin’s first solo album promotion to be exact), and met Chosen there where we exchanged AIM screen names. I had him on my buddy list for a few months and finally got the nerve to IM him. It took awhile to get to know him since he was always running around, signing in and out, etc. Finally, he opened up and started telling me things about things going on in Trung Tam Asia and a bit of history behind him. (Remember the shoutout to “Kim” in the Trish MTV DVD? That was to me, haha… he told me to watch that, and I did.) We got to exchange phone numbers a year later when his first CD (Now or Never) came out. I was the fourth person to pre-order his CD (haha, he was giving phone calls to the first 100 pre-orders), so he called (AT 10PM AROUND MY TIME) and we talked for awhile. So there after, he would tell me more about music production and stuff, which got me more motivated to eventually make my first beat by myself. One day, I showed him my MySpace Music account (crappy singing back then), and he told me that I would definitely make it into Asia if I keep it up. Oh yes it did boosted my motivation to keep on going and improve every step. When Chosen left Asia, I was a bit devastated but happy for him after hearing his reasons why he left… I was having second thoughts about Asia…

About Cardin… I must say, I never got to really talk to him (only complimented on him). I remember posting a long ass comment on his MySpace… He probably read it, but was just… never bothered to reply, oh sigh. But I would tell Chosen that I would be so happy to talk to Cardin. It eventually came true one day (2008) I posted my long reply to one of his MySpace blogs. On New Years of 2009 (1AM…), I saw a California # calling my phone, and I thought it was from Diane… so I answered in a slang which caused some laughters – it was a fobby voice… yes indeed, Cardin Nguyen! After that New Years greeting, Cardin and I would send long emails (… like it took a few weeks for this guy to reply, but w/e) to each other, and I got to know a bit more insight of what is going on behind the scenes of Asia. He knew from Chosen that I wouldn’t give specific details to fans but just general stuff, so he would give this and that. But I can’t say anything. ;p

Summer 2009, I joined Skype and joined this little thing call Soompi Skype Sessions, where members would sing. I got to meet some awesome friends and we started to collaborate on songs. I got to meet Hobyn and JC, two music composers and producers. They have excellent background in music business, and Hobyn has worked with many people. He gave me tips on mixing and other information on music producing. He also shared some stuff about doing business, and I must say: it is freakin’ risky. One time I asked him if we could collaborate on an original song for fun. He sent me a premade beat and his rap demo version of it. After listening to his rap version, I got inspired to write the lyrics for the verses and chorus. I sent in a demo to him, and he offered an album deal, which just really shocked me. I thought I was epically failing on that song, but he liked it. So right now, I’m working to write some songs to get this album started.

So that’s how I got to get some knowledge in the music business, and I hope I didn’t kill anyone’s brain on this. ;p

Just kidding. Anyways, as we all know, Lent has started… unless you really don’t care about it, because it does not imply to you. Well, last year’s lent… was all right. I didn’t really stick with my plan, sadly. But I’m all good.

This year, I’m planning to not record songs for fun. Most of the songs are for school (darn Music IA) and I was thinking of doing songs dedicated to God (yay, my contribution). I was hoping to do “40 Days” by Matt Maher… Record myself? Hahaha… But hey, it sounds something really fun. Also, I decided to give up Soompi OMG, wait when I come back and see that there were awesome covers and collabs that I missed out completely! Another thing I’m planning is probably to lose at least 10 pounds. Yes, a very hard challenge. I just hope that jump roping activity at school and dance team makes up for it. ;-;

So that basically sums up what I’ll be doing for the forty days. I remember last year that I gave up blogging. It probably explains why I do not blog as often anymore. That’s probably what I do not like about Lent… Ahhhh! The fact that I stop getting into the habit of doing things. ;-; It’s really bad. Egad. That’s why I don’t want to give Facebook up… Even if Sunday’s don’t count as Lent! DX Ahh… wish me luck!

Oh by the way… I updated my “to do” list… It expanded, OMG! DX But honestly, once May hits and there are days (nine) I don’t have exams, I will be doing major recordings and other stuff to busy myself since my life of IB is over as of May 21st. >8D

Forreals, forreals. My head has been spinning in that class, and I cannot believe that the teacher is not considering that not many of us are learning anything in her class. I honestly sit in that class and just stare at her blankly. She goes way too fast, and I don’t have the time to stay afterschool for tutoring (hate the fact that my parents make me babysit my sister… <_<). So I decided to make the decision to get out and do the class online since I can go at my own pace and not worry if I understand things. That's how I learned Algebra II better than anyone last year – I took the math class online at my own pace.

In replacement for that class, I’m just going to take aiding and have Ensemble for my electives. Good breathers too. I just want my last semester of senior year to be something to relax upon and not stress over… for once.

Speaking of “last semester”, I’m probably lying. According to the State of Florida, if I do not meet all the IB requirements, I do not graduate. Unfortunately, CAS (it’s like… community service hours to you guys) is keeping me from graduating. I have to have 150 by the end of March or else, and apparently, I only have about 80 hours. <_< What is also keeping me from meeting this requirement are my stupid brothers and sisters. My brother believes that he HAS to be the captain of his middle school dance team to get service hours (pfft…. has he been logging this?), thus, he is not able to take care of my sister at home. Also, my parents believe that I cannot drive a freakin' car, so dad decides to take my car to work. D< What the flip is this nonsense? I cannot take the afterschool activity bus every single day. Neither is there any afterschool activity bus on Fridays (where most of the CAS stuff happens to land on). Also, most of my friends are getting their stuff from weekends… Again, no car, and siblings. I love my life. I'm gonna be repeating senior year in regular classes NEXT YEAR! D< I wish I can bring this up to my parents. Then they'll be like, "ZOMG!" But they never listen.

So this concludes on how much I’m going to be taking breathers and how much I’m going to stress out. Yay!

Honestly, let’s agree – siblings can annoy the crap out of you “at times”. However, we all love each other. But seriously, *smirks* I really don’t love my brother. He really gets on my nerves and thinks he can step all over me. I can’t really rebel, ’cause then his freakin’ pansy ass comes up to my parents and cries. Not really, but he thinks tattle-telling will get me into trouble. F*** him. Literally, I wish that murder was not a sin sometimes, ’cause this guy will be dead long ago. But again, I might as well just move out of the house if I hate seeing his face everyday. I try to reconcile, but he thinks he has to win every freakin’ time. I don’t even see why my parents want me to go to a college near home so I can take care of my siblings. I never planned on having these freakin’ douchebags running around the house.

But again… I’m “too freakin nice” (apparently, he doesn’t think so and says I’m a bitch all the time to him – SO FREAKIN’ NOT).

So my parents bought me a Civic (ZOMG~ I always wanted a Civic… and now I’m adding SMART car too haha), which I will be driving it second semester (that is like at the end of January, sigh). I have decided that I will get up early and leave the house before my brother wakes up to pick up friends and drive ‘em to school. At least my friends won’t give me temper problems in the car. Honestly, who wants to be pissed off on purpose when they’re driving? D8D Sha-sweet! Asking for presents will never get you anything.

So my brother gets mad and told my parents that they owe him a Christmas present. WHAT THE FAWKES?!?!?!!? I remember on Black Friday that he said that the desktop is what he just wants to make up for 2009 birthday and Christmas presents since honestly… 500$ out of my parents’ bank account is not easy to make, considering that my parents make less than $1200 a month. But after seeing that I got a new car, he gets all fed up and locks himself in the room. HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT THIS GUY IS AWESOME?

And this is the same person that accuses that every time the family is out I invite a guy over the house and have sex with him all day/night. I LMAO-ed when I heard that. He should take his friend’s comment about me before making that assumption: I’m ugly. So how the heck can I be giving heads to some guy if my ugliness doesn’t qualify me to have sex with ‘em? XP

Oh… this is why I appreciate having friends as siblings. But then, we all don’t see each other everyday. XD But I admit… I’m way closer to my friends than to my family.

So we have a few more days until New Years come, and as much as it is drawing closer to my graduation date, I have decided to skip things: graduation ($60 to listen to 2 hours of boredom and then walk to get a diploma… Imma’ skip that.) and probably grad bash. Sadly I’ve been looking forward to grad bash but I can’t afford it if I havtah come up with $120 (+400$) on my own.

I don’t really keep up with New Years Resolution but heck, I’ll make one for the boredom and see if I’ll make through it.

1. Be more serious about school.
I slacked off a lot his year, and my grades can pretty much show it, and let’s just say that I’m going to not be goin on social networking sites as much. Winter Break has been prepping me for it. Let’s hope I can achieve this goal.

2. Argue less with parents.
I have realized that parents are old people and like to believe they are right. I’m just going to shutup and let them babble on about my ridiculous behaviour. I’ll make the decision in the end.

3. Be clean.
Even if I have some OCD in me. I’m gonna havtah admit that I can be the laziest person and probably the girl who can mess her room up quickest. But yeah… I really want to be able to start taking serious responsibility if I am going to go away. So keeping my room clean will be a good start.

4. Learn Music.
I must admit. I am not that good at music and really lots of training. To be able to get ahead in classes and other thriving musicians, I want to be able to identify things and play instruments professionally. Not just strucking chords after chords. I’m hoping to be a successful composer like Yuki Kujiara.

5. Lose weight.
Persuade that I’m not fat and you’re dead. I have heard many people told me this and behind my back they do call me fat. I understand I am not like my skinny prancing cousins and those Asian girls you see on TV. As much as I want to ignore everyhing around me, I can’t really ignore it. Especially when you go through the same thing everyday. “How can she dance? How can she do sports? It’s impossible considering her size!” I’m not obese but I know I’m fat. I used to cut myself because all of these comments, but I remember someone telling that people shouldn’t obsess over the way I look if they haven’t checked the mirror lately. But since I now refuse to inflict pain to myself, I’m going to cut my eating habit. I exercise regularly but it’s the food that gets me. X_x So yeppers, Imma make sure I cut off at least 20 pounds.

This is what I have so far. Happy New Years.